we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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