so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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