I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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