Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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