Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
