He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
