chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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