my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So vagazzling was a success
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
