I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
