Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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