Porn is love you can see.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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