I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
