Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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