At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Can I color on your dick again?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
