Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
