Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize