what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
