Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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