She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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