speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
