How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
