i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
