so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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