u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dick very happy bro
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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