first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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