i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
