Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
