There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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