NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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