he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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