he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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