Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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