You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
