I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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