I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
