Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
