you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize