i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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