omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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