I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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