How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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