I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
