and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
there is puke in my bra ... again
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
