guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
