what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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