wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
