I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
