Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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