the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
