It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
