dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
