You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
