It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
then he tried to convert me to islam
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
