do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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