a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
