Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
