I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
