She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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