absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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